Okay, I don’t want anyone getting all judgy on me. Or maybe it’s judgey? Whatever, who really knows anyway? It’s not even an actual a word.
Brushing my teeth is usually, almost always, a priority. But I don’t like to drink my coffee with minty fresh breath, so I wait to brush until after I drink at least my first cup. Sometimes this means I get distracted and don’t end up back in my bathroom brushing my teeth until 3pm. So, they DO get brushed, just not always at 7am. And this morning, after I made my bed (cuz my Grammy always told me a room looks tidiest when a bed is made) and got dressed, I brushed. Be proud, cuz lets be real, I don’t always get dressed either. This morning so far has been a big W.
Needless to say, now my coffee is a peppermint latte and I’m drinking it anyway.
Currently my “office” is my kitchen table. I have this lovely open floor plan downstairs with space for a little office nook. I’m going to have to put it together in pieces though, because, you know, funds. We moved from a house with just over 700 square feet to a house that’s just under 2,500 square feet; we definitely did not move in with enough furniture to fill it. And in our tiny house, I definitely didn’t have any office space. I’ve ordered an area rug for the space in our new house because it was 70% off and who can pass up a deal like that? But I probably should have ordered a desk first, specifically this one. So here I am, at the kitchen table, drinking coffee out of my cacti mug. If you can’t read it, it says “can’t touch this” and I love it.
My friend Rachel gave me this mug the night before I pulled away in a car full of things and kids… forever…. whaaaaaaaaaaa.
What’s worse than moving, is moving! I’m still trying to figure out which grocery store is best, because no matter which one I choose, they’re all 50 miles away. That’s an exaggeration but really it’s not. It takes me between 20 and 30 minutes to get to any main store but it does feel like and hour. I do thankfully have a little market style store around the corner that I can go grab milk and eggs from but for a real food shop, I’m driving. The craziest thing is that I’m a driver guys/y’all! I drove from New York to Texas like cake! I’ve driven from New York to Florida and back, every year for the last 8 years! And this most recent time, I drove home straight through! But driving around here makes me sleepy. I’m in the car for 5 minutes and I’m fighting to stay alert. It must be all the land and cows. I’m probably counting cows during the drive and lulling myself off to sleep! Back on Long Island, I could throw a baseball and hit the grocery store. Well I couldn’t. But someone who can throw could. AND to boot, I just found out they opened a little mini Target right next to that grocery store!
I miss you Target. I love you Target. Why are you doing this to me Target!?
To be fair, Austin does have Targets. But they’re all so far from meeeeeee! Can you hear me whining? Because I am.
As you can see, I’m adjusting well.
The other thing I’m struggling with is that I miss worship. Obviously I can still worship but I miss leading worship. I miss it a lot. As luck would have it (or not), the second Sunday that we attended our new church, they posted an announcement in the bulletin that they would be holding auditions for musicians to join their worship team! This sounded nerve wracking but wonderful! I signed up!
I’m dumb. I should not have signed up.
The word “musicians” should have been my first hint.
Initially I thought, “Great! I’ll pick something I do really well and I’ll be fine!” Well, then I got their follow up email. The email pretty much said, “Thanks for signing up. You’ll receive the time slot for your audition and the songs you’ll need to have prepared in an email we’ll send out on May 5th. See you May 12th.” This is not good! I get a single week to prepare songs I don’t even know in keys I’m not sure of. And to boot, I didn’t give myself enough time to actually watch them play. So this passed Sunday I started to notice things like, they don’t have music in front of them and everyone up there, even the singers, are all also playing an instrument (so I probably can’t just be a singer) and they’re good, like really good.
I love worship and I have passion for it, but I’m not good. I need music in front of me at all times!!!! If there’s no music, where am I supposed to look!? I couldn’t ever even possibly look at the congregation! And also, on a scale from 0 to cool, they’re all cool. I’m a solid 3. A solid lame 3.
[Let’s just sidebar for a second. Before we moved to Austin, all the young people we knew, like my brother and his friends and other people who are childless and well traveled and younger than Paul and I, would tell us how “rad” Austin is. That’s the real word they would use. Rad. And Paul and I would joke about how we were too old for “rad.” Austin’s rad-ness did not leave me feeling more encouraged about this move ha! This is because I, am not rad. I have never been rad. I don’t think rad is in my future. Paul was probably rad once. But that too is no longer. Bottom line, we’re not rad. So my aunt called me the other day and was saying how she was going to come visit in the fall and how by then I should know all the cool places in Austin. This phone conversation made me realize that my aunt doesn’t even know me at all! What was she thinking?! It’d be a miracle if Paul and I even got out on a date before she visits in the fall. (I have no babysitter.) When she comes, I will likely be able to show her all the family friendly and very not rad places in Austin and then make her babysit. Sorry to disappoint, Aunt Cris.]
The Austin Stone Worship team is rad. And I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m really insecure about this, because not only am I not rad, I’m not a musician. The title of this post should have been “Today I Brushed My Teeth and Also I’m Freaking Out!” There will definitely be a post up May 13th titled, “Humiliation 101: How to never make any friends ever.” You can be assured of that.
The big question is, what does God want me to DO here!? Cuz right now, it’s a whole lot of driving and freaking out. I don’t think that’s part of His good plan. I mean maybe.
Don’t get used to these daily posts… because I can’t imagine I’ll keep up such a rigorous writing schedule.
I’m out… running on Jesus and coffee y’all.